You said:
I, for one, have enjoyed the frankness and lilting sarcasm of your replies...absolutely wonderful, to be afforded the chance to read any of your thoughts here--no matter how directed. (Though, one must admit, it sends a shiver through the core, to see one's name typed by that eternal hand...to know that one's words have been taken in and weighed...)

The lilting sarcasm? -laughs- Yes, that's a good description sometimes, isn't it? I wanted to know that I agree with what you said here, that I take in most of the words left for me and weigh them. That is also a good description. For most of the message left here I do at least give some thought to them and I'm most pleased when upon weighing the words, I find I have something valid and earnest to say in return. It is that which motivates me to even read them.

I'm sorry we didn't get to speak on the matter of this interesting dream you wish to discuss with me. You have to imagine that it is most difficult usually for me to "interpret" dreams that involve me. I suppose it's hard to see myself abstractly to that extent. It's interesting to me if nothing else that you said "And we're not alone...you introduce me to Mr. Navarre. Or his shade, at least. He seems only barely conscious of his surroundings." -- Now did you tell him of this? -smiles- Barely conscious of his surroundings. Somehow that's oddly appropriate I think.

So now before I write a complete novel to you Chanson, I will end here and only say that sometime soon I will see you in chat I'm sure. I have much writing to do if I'm to row onward through this sea of ceaseless words.

Oh but of course my little actress, I know precisely what it is like to wear a mask, yet at the same time, I feel naked and alive, telling the world who and what I am, making no apologies and saying "this is me, deal with it.", to use a bit of common slang. It is a dichotomy that you will learn as you age, dear one, really. I venture to say that your disappointment comes from false perceptions in the first place of what adulthood meant or means. It's not easy, and it's not without horrible flaws that you will only learn to change and accept, when you accept that as how life is.

I was reminded of something I'd read when I sat to write this to you, and here is how it goes:

"Your ears know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights. But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge. You would know in words that which you have always known in thought. You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams."

I leave that to your interpretation, but in all it speaks of being patient, and listening to what you already know. It's very sage advice.

(Oh what a night it might be when I start reciting 'The Prophet', hm?)

Hello. Just a reminder not to take everything so personally. Life is hard to survive if you do.

There is so very much we should or could discuss, I feel... now, the state of mind, how you might understand it, or would you tell me to snap out of it, and get on with the business of immortality? I will try to find you some evening, soon, so that I might learn your responses and hear your advise once more.

I'm here now, missed or not. -smiles- I haven't had the desire, truthfully, to go and look at the links you sent me. There has been much going on in this old immortal mind that defies what I can put into words here, even if I'd want to do that. Will you put it on the fiction section of the forum? There at least I might get to it, and really, others would like to read it you know.

Indeed my Siren's words are lovely. How nice it would be perhaps to lay against the softness of her skirts while such a thing is sung to me. How like childhood lost.

You say:
Where does one so long lived find advice and solace?I can only imagine the feelings of isolation.I hope on these forums you find a semblance of unity.It must be difficult to be so sought after for advice and healing.My only hope is you find your own....

What a lovely sentiment that you leave for me. Where do I turn for advice and solace? Well as you can see from what I just said, for one, to Gabrielle. While it's true that she can be indifferent and strangely callous at times, I am her son eternally, and though she is nothing of the mother I once knew, she still is that to me on some level and always will be. Others, occasionally - Marius as I did so long ago, or my own fledglings that can each in their own right be quite insightful. I don't know that I find a semblance of unity here, but there is something definite as I've said that I find valuable, or else I wouldn't come and take time to interact. Perhaps it's not so important, the label of what or why. It is difficult, yes, and tiring, and at times in a way again that I can't label, depressing, but then there is also a certain contentment in being a part of it all, and I have to say that overall, yes, I'm finding my own Ava, yes, finding my own indeed.

Yes, I know you have been gone for sometime, haven't you? I've missed your quiet grace my lady, and please, I wish for that whispered exchange some night soon. So much we could speak of. Find me. Mail me if you don't have my private screen name.

Of course I would take the time to read it, young one. No one really, is insignificant.

Vacancy? Dissociation? Separation? I've felt all of those things in my time, yes. However, recently it's all different. I related here some time ago how I went out one night and stood, watching a crowd of people, and it was all that you said. I didn't feel angry, or anything really self directed, or amusement, or anything succinct. What I did feel was an overwhelming right-ness. Oooh that words fail me now as I'm trying again to say what it was. It was like, all of them, the mortals I was watching, no, beyond that, them, me, ... -sighs- I hate the inept and faulty human language sometimes. It went through and beyond, like a great comforting breath. That's all I can say, and I'll leave it at that because it's becoming quite upsetting to me that I'm not finding the right conveyance.

Oh! No, I haven't found a picture of it, and I tell you, reading this about the knife is going to set me off on another tangent about it, and kicking myself for not buying it right then and there! Unfortunately, it was one of those fly by night trade shows that breezes through town, so I doubt I'll have the opportunity to see it again soon, though I will look on my travels.

Ha! I don't remember what I said about Aaron with an apple in his mouth, but I'm sure it was something surprising. I can say for sure that I wasn't altogether myself Friday night, so what I might have said, ugh, who knows. It was a stressful evening, and I was, so to speak, in the process of coming down while I was in chat, so forgive me if I might have made a strange first impression, but then again, all the better to make you wanting more?

I'm sorry to hear that ailments are hampering your time as you would like to be spending it. I know there are reports of such illness everywhere and believe me I'm glad it is one thing I do not have to contend with. You survived the tornadoes and storms though I'm assuming? Don't hate me for wanting to push you out into them, I'm horribly known for my love of challenging weather. I run into the face of a storm yelling for it to come on and give me more. Who'd have guessed, hm?

Indeed I recall our conversations. Do you remember how I said, "A painter can capture the look of a flower on his canvas, but he does not and cannot ever control the inspiration of the flower itself." -smiles- I look over the things I've said, saved if they were of importance, and at times I can barely picture myself as the speaker of those words.

I've looked this evening at some of the quotations of Thich Nhat Hanh, but I'm afraid I'm just not feeling that which he writes of. Of course, I think there is definitely something to be said for Kahlil Gibran, which I started off with this evening. Would you say there is any similarity, or am I right in thinking Gibran to be more ethereal, at least on the surface? Of course, look below and notice that it was I who's quotation I chose to put into my signature.