You're a victim of my aura you say? -laughing- Well I understand what you mean. Be glad you're not more of a victim than that. Of course, I understood what you meant all along in your words. I see your attempts to find the right explanation as I might see you in your school hallways, dropping your books in a moment of distraction, and rushing embarrassed to gather them again before anyone looks at you too long. Forgive my slight amusement at the image.

You're much better off admiring all of us from afar. I really have to wonder at people who apparently without much forethought to the matter say, "Make me what you are!" Trust me when I say that if the request is granted to these individuals, their Immortality is short lived more often than not. The same is true with Immortals who are created without much forethought of why it is being done. They either do not survive, or their survival is torment, for so very, very long a time. Whatever way you admire me, Candace, you know I will accept it and hold it close when I need it. The love of mortals is sustaining, and sometimes nearly as sweet as the life blood within them.

Oh I should bet that there are many things which color your fair cheeks, aren't there? You know I could probably think of them all and play them in succession.

You taste the words

of my forbidden kiss

Our eyes connect

And we both know what this is

I will be your keeper

You possess the key

Forget me not

Forget me not

Cause you belong to me

I will be your shadow

When you walk away

Forget me not

Forget me not

I will follow you

Until your dying day

très approprié, cher, even though it isn't much my style of music. I wonder what might happen if I set the words to something a bit harder and more driving? Ha, a project I could fiddle with perhaps, but no less, thank you for this comparative confession in such words. What other things might you be thinking behind your dark eyes, Aaron?

No, I said it might be a mortals point of view on -wanting- an Immortal, that is, what Aaron spoke of to some extent, the inescapable feeling, or the feeling of wanting us to stop looking at you, or stop speaking before we madden you with what words we might utter. That is what it reminded me of, and not longing for Immortality itself. Of course, you may show me more work, but just remember to give credit where credit is due. Tell me where you find the gems you show me, and perhaps I will even pay them a visit.

As for your questions, I say what I want to say, in the way I choose to say it, and hope it answers things sufficiently. I think there should always be a bit of mystery, don't you? Mystery makes even the dullest hours have some sort of surprise in them, but you will never "solve" the questions I present. What fun would it be if I allowed every nuance of myself to be discovered? If I want to do that I might as well surrender to science and have them dissect me, and we all know that is something I'd never do. So here's to mysteries, and the girls and boys and the men and women, who love dipping their fingers in, for just a little taste.

I did indeed overlook your post. Will you forgive me? If you offended me, you'd know it. The number of people who say they hope this or that hasn't offended me always surprises me. Don't you think, with my reputation, I'd let people know? Ah, but I understand. It's a bit like living in a powder keg, non? That reputation I mention has volatility pretty high up on the list of character traits, I know.

…my question is while we all claim that we love you and are in need of knowing you and being accepted by you and the other immortals, do you find any of us fake? have you ever doubted our sincerity? As a human with limited experience, I know i would doubt anyone who claim they love me. and that makes me feel very weak when I have the desire to post to immortals like you, who I know I'd love to know.

… have you ever doubted, as we do? have you ever doubted yourself, and once thought that you are not as loved and worthy as you had thought you were?

Of course there are plenty that I find to be 'fake'. As I've said many times here, there are those who wish to know me, or Immortals, and then there are those who wish to know what they've made us into in their fantasies. Some people think we'd swoop down into their bedrooms and sit for hours, talking about everything from the weather to prom night. You have to know that's highly unlikely. If I came calling on any mortal in that way, it would be with a purpose more immediate than idle chat. There are some however, that for whatever reason, I feel an attraction to, even if it is here in sometimes incomplete words that I talk to them. When people say they love me, here or wherever, I take it not so literally. They love the things I do, the strengths and conflicts I represent in their lives, the hope perhaps that I present to them. It is all fine with me, because I've always loved adoration and approval.

Have I ever doubted myself? Oh darling, darling girl, re-read my written work, and you will see it over and over again. There have been many times when I've felt failure, loss, pain and not only self-doubt, but self-recriminations aplenty. Such things we all suffer in this life of eternity. At times it is cause enough for us to seek the oblivion of the cool earth for centuries, and at times, we merely lie about, unspeaking and barely moving, for nearly so long a time. Fortunately, the darkness hasn't called to me in that way for many years, and I am happy to be in the place I am. How long will that last? I cannot say, but I do hope it is a significant period of time before once more, my doubts and the world around me prove cause enough to recede from everything and slip once more into silence.

No offense dear. I misread what you had asked me in your letter. I wasn't around when the book was published, but was very much around when the movie came to be. However I wasn't an extra in the movie. I had my own high dramas to deal with at the time. I didn't really want any part of it, as I didn't the new atrocity of my life on film. Some might think I'd want to be right there, watching everything, but it's just a passing irritation to me that they make such things. Do I consider it an honor? Only in that it brings more people to me, but the frightening thing to me is, there are people that didn't even know my name, who see this latest flick and think all of that is the truth! Can you imagine that?? I've had people instant message me since that film with the most ludicrous of questions! Those - offend me, not for the asking, because it is obvious they know no better, but for the fact that the horrid errors in the script were carried out regardless of the consequences. Oh well, it gives me more of a chance to speak, and to right the wrongs, and you know I have a history of doing that very thing. So I've answered your questions Gilly. If I don't answer mails, don't take it personally. If I answered every single letter, I'd never get anything done for myself.

Please read the chat information page at (inactive link) will tell you what's required to join us in the chats.

I believe I answered you about asking me personal questions here rather that in e-mail. So long as they're not about the size or shape of my endowments, I can't see why you couldn't ask them in the public arena.

(And no, that doesn't mean you or anyone else should e-mail me asking about the size or shape of it.)

Forgive me if I am dense and missing some subtle message or point you've been trying to make. This is a venue where words must suffice and often fail to convey meaning or implication. If there is something you wish to say, just say it to me.

You're right about regret though. I don't know if I've accepted what I've done in my past so much as I've just reached the point where I can look at it more objectively. Still, there are regrets, always I think, at least I know I have some. They're better put upon a shelf somewhere and left to gather dust. Only now and then do I take them down and examine them like … mm, do you know I thought just then, "Like curly haired dolls I used to bring home". Funny how thoughts pop out of nowhere, but then, that particular thought doesn't surprise me when I start speaking of regrets and things I shelve away, and that's enough on that topic for now.