I missed you last time I posted. When I refreshed to see my own, there you had snuck in! I haven't read your story yet, but I am glad that you found a way to get around those annoyances. I'm sure I will like it. Are you saying that you don't want me to share it with Louis? I bet he would like it as well. Why don't you let me be the judge of it? I will try to get to it tonight, all right?

Well now that my fingers are no longer weary, should I tell you 'what's up' with me? I'm thinking of going to New York for Christmas. Why? Aside from the fact that it is a bustling place with plenty of things for my eyes and lips to drink in, there is a planned concert at St. John the Divine that I'd like to at least peek in on. Can you imagine me, perched somewhere high in the rafters, hidden from the salvation seeking souls beneath me? Ha. Then again, it would be far more entertaining I think, to be right there among them. Holiday plans for a vampire. Who would imagine?

Yes, actually I have, and I mean real frankincense. In my travels, in temples of old and while walking the narrow streets of Rome, it was almost as natural because it was commonly burnt on the braziers in the homes with their open windows. Of course it was used for much more than just the scent it produced, but what a scent it was. I can't smell it even today without thinking of long nights there, and being almost transported back, just by that scent alone. Marius is still quite fond of the pure form, and on occasion I have gone to visit him and the effect (of both he and the fragrance) is, to my senses, quite stunning.

Someone I once knew of course was very fond of lining her eyes with Kohl, and too of the fragrance before the powder was obtained, but that is another story altogether.

You asked me:
have you ever thought of anyone commiting suicide from the experience? That may be a bizarre question, but my curiosity always gets the best of me in the end. Do you know if the people remember anything from the experience? Other than the ecstacy, I mean.

Well, I assume there are some people that have, and that's merely an unfortunate side effect I guess. -laughing- How cold that sounds, doesn't it. Well, I am what I am. I know there are a few instances where it was too much for the person, and I personally have returned to deliver them from it completely. It's not so much that they remember things, you see. Have you had a dream ever, that haunts you well into your day? It is like that, I can say, though of course I can't completely describe what it is like to them, since it is not me who is feeling it.

Then you said:
The time between a fledgling and an elder seems like puberty. LOL, I don't know if that makes much sense to you. Just say something if it's a bad comparison

It can be for some. In fact, I'm willing to bet if you asked a few of my elders about me, they'd say yes, because dear Lestat seems as though he's still going through that pubescent period. What do you think, dear? Am I? Well, I will admit to being rebellious and antagonistic, but then I always was, and maybe always will be. There are those among us who never really see time beyond that phase. Leaning in to the wise, less lethal age for immortals can be quite difficult, and eternity can seem unbearable. Given that I have already experienced one crisis of the spirit, you could say, and thusly spent a decade or so underground, perhaps I have a little leeway when it comes to going mad from my existence. At least I hope I do.

Yes, if I'm punished for sharing secrets, it's Gretchen's fault, do you hear me?? Gretchen's fault, not mine. I'm blameless in everything I do, don't you know??

I'm glad to know you find my advice worthy and valuable. Isn't that a bit ironic though? Do you share that your moral coach in acting is in fact a vampire ex-actor? -laughs- I'm sure that would go over well, so perhaps it is best to keep it our little secret, non?

I'm not essentially avoiding you, however, your friend Imani I do avoid. Her e-mails are ridiculous with three incoherent lines. I throw them away. Tell her I haven't the time or inclination for such things. If she has something worth saying, say it.

You said: At thirteen I was a lot like your sweet Gabrielle, but now, I'd say I am a little bit more worm hearted and caring

I'm sorry darling, I have to laugh a little at this particular typing error and offer my condolences for your having heartworms.

Et, mes bras vous acceuilleront cette nuit et mes levres acceuilleront votre sang. C'est gentil de m'écrire en Français, oui, mais vous savez j'apprécierai beaucoup plus, si vous laissez vos mots ici en anglais. Pourquoi priver ceux qui ne peuvent pas vous lire. A partir de maintenant, Je ne réponrai qu'au messages en Anglais. Rien de personnel, Je pense simplement que cela bénéficierai à plus de personnes si elles pourraitent lire tout ici, d'accord?

Are your whims so childish, that you wish for my companionship, or maybe a caress, or even nothing but sitting, looking out over some city with a new understanding in my presence? If it is, then how many children I must have after me. I don't mean to be too condescending to you in my replies, and say that such desires have no worth, on the contrary, dear boy, they do. Again, I would direct you to speak with a certain other mortal boy who has achingly similar affections for me. Ask him whether at times they seem foolish and in vain, or whether at times they are justly rewarded in perhaps not tangible, clear and present ways, but rewarded nonetheless? You want to not feel, and you lie to yourself in print, mon ami, to say that you won't. We may not be meant to meet, but then, if a man is not meant to climb the mountain, can he still not picture himself doing so?

Do not be so valiant and vow to banish thoughts of me when the daylight comes. I would say to you, and to anyone that if nothing else, if you wish to feel me, and be with me, then walk in the rays of the sun with me, in the only way I will ever be able to do so, in the minds and the arms of all those who hold me.

Yes, it is something isn't it, that The Family can and does gather in such a place as this to converse with those who come? Despite my impatient words at times, I am in some ways pleased that I have this electronic venue in which I may verbosely cavort and interact with all of you.

So you asked:
Now, I have another question for you. It's somewhat random, but I'm just curious. If you were trapped on a desert island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

Hm. You know I thought about this and it is far easier to answer what or whom I wouldn't want to bring. I guess, off the cuff, I would have to say I would want to bring in such as situation? I don't know. My first thought is David. He loves the tropics, and I would hope my deserted island would be a tropical one, of course with plenty of out-of-the-sun places. I would so miss the creature comforts I've come to know. Should I wish for my bed? I love that… and well, I wouldn't need my cars I guess, and my entertainment system would do me no good without electricity. My bed then, and David. And Louis. I know, that's three things, but then I'm rather a rule breaker, aren't I? And well, you must admit, the thought of David and Louis and I in a bed on a moonlit tropical island is enough to allow me such offenses?

You said:
The book was interesting in itself. And don't worry i'm not going to ask how you could do such a thing to Daniel. Thank you for forgiving me on the confusing of the names.

Darling girl, you've done it again, don't you see? I didn't say "how I could do such a thing to Daniel"

I said, "Do let me know your impressions of that book you're on now, but please don't ask me how I could do such a horribly cruel and self-serving thing to David."

Are you that easily confused about all of us? Mm, I think I might not like to be on the other end of one of your customer service calls, or rather, if you get so easily confused, you wouldn't like me to be on the other end. I'm rather notorious in my household for giving a great deal of "merde" to the phone operators on the other end of the line. It amuses me horribly both to do it, and to see the looks from whoever might be in the room with me when I do.

Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "No rest for the wicked"? Well here I am once more replying, so it must be true.

Am I hilarious you think? I have to agree really. I think I have a perfectly wonderful sense of humor, and a great appreciation for the ironic. Many people have told me that in things I've written, they find my words at times both humorous and serious in the same breath. I think that's often the case. Sometimes a situation can be that, wouldn't you agree with me? As far as your other comment to youth, of course it was different then, and yes, there was more of an expectation to marry young and have children. (How boring!) What of the children of today and their cynical views? To me that is a means of wisdom and it is also innocence under a layer of dirt. They will, most of them, come to see later in life that the hard views of their childhood were ludicrous compared to the struggles and glories of adulthood. I guess what I mean to say is that, in some of the young people I meet, their views and perception of information is wise, whether it's true or not. They have a certain dour intellect that comes forth in their ideas about politics, the systems, and life in general that I can find fascinating to listen to. Of course for the most part it irritates me to no end. How can children, even some that come here to this board, lament their conditions of existence, when in fact their lives haven't even yet begun? I wish they would realize sometimes that whether you're a mortal or immortal, your nights are for the most part, what you make of them. Stop whining and start living, I say. Now there, that's a Lestatian philosophy to quote. Destiny? I've already said I feel that is a force that can impart people, places and situations into our lives, but there's nothing wrong with grabbing Destiny in your teeth and shaking it for all it's worth.

Fan fiction hm? I don't recall speaking to any young, budding authoress lately. I don't disapprove of fan writing. I've found some that was wonderful, and some that was truly insulting. There was one particular story about me reading Louis a bedtime story that was downright hysterical. It's strange to say the least, reading about myself as if I was a puppet, with someone else's fingers making me do what they think I would do. Actually, some of the fan fiction I read that I consider worthy, was by a young lady calling herself TheBlackRose. I am quite certain that you're not her though.

You said:
Anyway, I have two questions for you. First one is, what music do you listen to? You know like your favorite bands and such. And the second one is, if you could change your name to any name what would it be?

Music: I have very eclectic tastes when it comes to music, and I can listen to anything from classical to hip-hop to ambient. Lately I've favored more classical, but I think that is because of the time I've been spending close to home, finding it suitable for background ambience when I'm lost to nights of conversation with one soul or another. My current song of obsession is "Pictures of You", by The Cure. It reminds me of a few situations and people, as I'm sure it does for many who hear it.

When I drive, I find that harder music, that being akin to the material "I" am supposed to have sung on the QOTD soundtrack, is my preference, unless Louis is with me, and then it's usually something softer, unless of course he's pissed off at me, then it's that Metallica fallback. I have to say that even though most of that music sounds nothing like me, I have gotten accustomed to it, and now even could say that I like it. In particular I like "Slept so long", and would have to say that sounds most like me in feel, if not lyrically. I'm not so fond of the fornication word as that music would make people think. The driving beat though, and the… hm, the mysterious overtones it has? Yes, that's me. I like music also, like that, that has a Middle Eastern/Arabic/Egyptian sound. I'll leave it to all of your imaginations to assume why.

My Name: There is no other name I would rather have. Ever. It fits me perfectly.

You said:
So the gauntlet has been thrown, has it Lestat? Shall we see who tires first?

You're such a drama queen.

How do you get that I threw out a challenge from what I said to you? Merely I said and meant that you could endlessly try to charm me if you chose to, but that I might and probably would be indifferent to it. So many try you know. Then again it might work. It's not a challenge, just the blandness of fact, darling.

You said:
Without idealism, everything that is beautiful, everything that is magical in the world would fall prey to the wolves of cynicism and a dark reality.

Interesting metaphor. Is that designed to draw out some comment from me? Well on that count then, you have succeeded. Surely there are wolves, and surely everyone faces them. You merely have to be cunning enough in your own right to find your path out of the forest alone and make the best of what the world thereafter gives you.

Yes, I've answered this before, though being new, I realize you haven't seen it, so here is your personal response. I have fish. I have a huge black tank filled with Discus. Most of them are fairly large now. They are very calming, when I need that, and otherwise, they are very entertaining to watch. Fortunately I have someone who comes in and tends to them. I couldn't really stand to do all that myself all of the time. I would become impatient and bored, and probably set them loose in the Mississippi. Can you imagine?!

I've heard that term yes, that you speak of. Those Brits, aren't they something? I catch British Comedy on television once in awhile and it can send me into a fit of ear-splitting laughter.

You should come onto the board on your own name little Ava. Don't hide. I'll find you anyway, even if you do, but then that's just what you want, isn't it?

Is it that you don't believe me when I say I've been punished for things that I've said? Aren't we all, in ways we might never tangibly see? I've seen and lived through things that at times I have to observe outside of myself, wondering with ironic amusement if the situations aren't some grand form of punishment, or justice for the things I've said and done prior to their occurrence. Who hasn't felt that way? I don't think just because I'm what I am that I should be exempt.

Did you mean to ask me whether or not, if the 'little drink', can and does drive some humans mad, it could do the same for immortals? My answer, if so, is in some circumstances, yes. I know some immortals, not naming names, who have a horrible penchant for falling in love with mortals, far more often and more deeply than should ever happen. In such instances, drinking from them and not taking it to the next level must be very suffering. It would almost be natural to step over that line and do it to them, and I'm surprised it hasn't happened. I just thought of something. There might be someone who reads this and thinks I'm speaking of myself. I'm not.

It would not be fun to see Lestat's fingers fallen off and lying apart from his hands on the desk. No, let's not think that.

(Though I've already told her this, I'll leave it here for anyone else to read, least it look as though I'm ignoring her, as though I would want to or could.)

At Christmas or at any time it would be lovely to see your form with or without a bow. Ahem. Wrapped or unwrapped, my dear lady. Come, be with me.

Mm, and something else for all of you, a little humor - at least I think so. Have you heard that song "Underneath it all", by No Doubt? The stereo was on here the other evening and Louis, sitting quietly in his chair pipes up and says to me, "That sounds just like you Lestat." This was provoked by the lyric "You know some real bad tricks and you need some discipline" - And then he fairly thought that the whole tune could be about me, from his point of view, so why not ask him to sing this next time he's feeling vocal? I'd love to hear his version of the Reggae bit, wouldn't you?